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Warning: This article contains references to sexual assault. Spoilers ahead.
In today's world, the hunger for validation seems insatiable and drives millions of individuals to seek it relentlessly on social media platforms. But “Baby Reindeer” delves deeper to remind us that this facade of wanting to feel special often stems from darker places: trauma and abuse.
A raw and unflinching exploration of these themes, the British limited series blends elements of black comedy, drama, and thriller, with Richard Gadd serving as both creator and lead actor. Drawing from Gadd's own life, the series is an adaptation of his autobiographical one-man show, which explores his harrowing ordeal of being stalked and sexually assaulted during his 20s.
“Baby Reindeer” is among the most binge-worthy Netflix Originals I’ve ever seen in years. With seven episodes, each about 30 minutes long, it's easily digestible and captivating. Notably, its pilot episode ranks as one of the finest of the 2020s.
Laughs and lies
A struggling London comic named Donny Dunn (played by Richard Gadd, a fictionalized version of himself) offers a kind gesture to a seemingly down-on-her-luck customer, Martha Scott (Jessica Gunning). Martha showers Donny with attention, both flattering and overwhelming, with nicknames like “Baby Reindeer” and a constant barrage of emails.
Despite growing unease, Donny reluctantly agrees to a coffee date with her, which takes a bizarre turn with a public outburst from Martha. Curiosity piqued, Donny follows her home, only to find a reality far from the wealthy lawyer persona she presented.
Martha, however, interprets his presence as a sign of a deepening connection. This delusion fuels her uninvited appearance at Donny's stand-up competition, where her disruptive behavior ironically helps him advance. Love confessions, further outbursts at rejection attempts, and a social media friend request all culminate in a shocking discovery: Martha is a convicted stalker. Despite this revelation, Donny inexplicably accepts her friend request, setting the stage for a more unsettling turn of events.
Donny can't shake Martha's stalking, and his boundaries are as porous as a sieve. Is he secretly lapping up the attention despite the obvious danger? The first half throws breadcrumbs of clues, but the real exploration of Donny's psyche waits until later. We finally learn why it took him half a year to report Martha, which reveals a depth to his character that goes beyond simple victimhood.
A pivotal flashback episode reveals a young and ambitious Donny trying to make it in the comedy world. A lucky encounter with Darrien, a successful writer who has worked with Donny's heroes, seems like a dream come true. Darrien takes Donny under his wing, mentoring him and convincing him to take a leap of faith by moving to London. However, Darrien's mentorship takes an interesting turn when he abruptly disappears, leaving Donny feeling lost and abandoned.
Donny picks himself up and decides to enroll in drama school in Oxford, where he crosses paths with Keeley, their encounter blossoming into a romantic relationship. Just as Donny starts to find his footing, his life is upended again when he receives a call from Darrien. What follows is a twisted mentorship filled with manipulation. Darrien pressures Donny into using drugs and sexually assaults him. Despite recognizing the grooming, Donny remains entangled with Darrien, collaborating on a television pilot. Their work relationship becomes increasingly destructive, fueled by drugs and culminating in a devastating assault on Donny while he is under the influence.
The toll on Donny's personal life is immense. His relationship with Keeley suffers as he struggles with shame, confusion, and the dawning realization of his sexuality. In a misguided attempt to cope, Donny engages in risky sexual encounters with various partners. His past trauma with Darrien hinders Donny’s ability to give an accurate account of the present threat, which is Martha’s stalking.
In this segment of the miniseries, the tone shifts to a deeper shade and surpasses the usual boundaries of dark comedy. Many viewers may find this episode deeply unsettling, but it's a crucial turning point. It delves into the impact of trauma and abuse on Donny and sheds light on his struggles to establish healthy romantic and sexual connections. Through this narrative, we gain insight into why he remains tethered to Martha despite the chaos. It's a moment where Donny invites us to confront the conflict between our curiosity to uncover the unfolding events and the desire to retreat for the sake of comfort.
The limited series takes another turn down a darker route. We witness Martha's harassment escalate to target Donny's parents. A disturbing scene reveals Donny's use of Martha's photo for self-gratification. Strangely, this disturbing behavior leads to a breakthrough in his sexual relationship with Teri, the transgender American therapist he's secretly dating.
However, this fragile progress shatters during a stand-up comedy final. In a heart-wrenching meltdown under the harsh glare of the spotlight, Donny lays bare the shame and self-loathing stemming from his rape, stalking, and the consequences of his trauma. He leaves the stage, abandoning a stunned audience and the weight of his raw emotions. We also see him struggle to adjust to a world without Martha's constant presence.
The wound beneath the bandage
“Baby Reindeer” serves as a chilling reflection of the dangers lurking within hookup culture. We witness Donny grappling with his attraction to men, a realization tainted by the trauma of his assault, leading him down a path of shame and engaging in unsafe sexual encounters. Donny's journey underscores the critical need for nuance within the sex positivity movement. While advocating for sexual exploration is essential, it must be accompanied by a deeper understanding of the psychological complexities involved.
This series sheds light on the peril of using hookup culture as a superficial solution to deeper issues like sexual trauma. It serves as a sobering reminder that oversimplifying sex positivity can inadvertently promote risky behaviors. Beyond the standard advice of using condoms and getting tested, this narrative underscores the importance of prioritizing mental and emotional well-being and seeking support for past traumas before embarking on intimate encounters. It highlights the necessity of integrating psychological factors into sex awareness and education efforts.
Shrouded in dark humor, “Baby Reindeer” delves beyond comedic pretense to become a full-fledged horror story. It lures us into a world of seemingly ordinary lives, only to yank the rug out and reveal the horrifying realities that writhe beneath. The narrative throws brutal punches that force us to question who the true victim is. Donny's poignant final scene reinforces this unsettling notion. Finding solace in a pub, he forgets his wallet yet is offered a free drink, mirroring his initial encounter with Martha. This narrative layering suggests that she might not be the sole perpetrator lurking in the shadows.
The series offers a brutally honest exploration of how trauma and abuse cultivate a ravenous desire for validation, a need too often exploited for self-gratification rather than genuine care.
Ralph Revelar Sarza is a freelance TV and film critic and a metadata development specialist at The Big Dipper Digital Content and Design, Incorporated, an ABS-CBN company. This review was originally published on the author's blog, “WALPHS.com.”